llustration by Chandra X-Ray Observatory

Just because today is heading south fast
Is no reason to throw in the towel.
Hands raised in despair,
A gravitational vortex forms around my couch.
Even light cannot escape the extreme gravity.

Getting up on the wrong side of the bed negates any good that can come of the day?
Whether it is a good day or bad, you only get this day once.
So it’s a bad day… now what?
Is there a small thing that will boost you to escape velocity from the couch black hole?
Often the smallest step makes me feel better and I can find my way to another small step…

Photo by Suzanne D. Williams on Unsplash

What if the epidemic ends and nothing changed?
Is our goal just to hunker down and live through it?
Or can we use it as fuel to make a change
That benefits all of us?

It has been difficult to shelter alone, just as its been difficult for all of us to shelter, or not.
I like to believe something good could come out of it.
That the disaster could hold a new way of being.
Do we have to set an intention for that to happen?
Or will it just naturally occur as a byproduct?

I spent too long denying there was a problem, then trying to bargain my way out of it.
All the signs of grief, as I yearned for a return to "normal."
And now as we start to find a path to reopen,
I find resistance to the change yet again...

My cocoon is still sheltering the not yet transformed butterfly.

Image by Alex Zarate at Pixabay

It’s so hard to create something for someone
And release it into the wild.
Not knowing if it will find a home
Or be able to land after I give it flight.

Yet release it I must.
It’s not mine, even if it feels like it is…
It never was.
The gift was given by a power greater than mine
for the purpose of lifting up others.

It is selfish of me to consider keeping it..
To try to control it or how it appears or makes me appear.
I am powerless in its wake.
It must BE, this creation, that has a life of its own
Irrespective of me.

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash

I can check it out, see how it looks up there.

There is a reason any good military commander uses scouts.
They can bring back the intel.
How many troops? What is the lay of the land?
Obstacles looming just over that hill?
Is there a path through the danger?

If someone is willing to go first, she helps others.
She takes the risks herself for the reward of information.
Through action, she can demonstrate something possible.
So others can make the same journey,
Once they know it is safe up ahead.

In what ways can you lead today?  Where are you holding back... waiting? 
It's easier to let someone else go first.
But it leaves you small....

Photo by Candra Winata on Unsplash

I want to write the script of my life in such a way that I always win.

Clearly it's a work of fiction.

No one wins all the time.

Is it even a good thing to strive for?

Hummingbirds are fast fliers.
Zippy little things.
With wings moving too fast to see,
they dart and dive in magical, surreal ways.

Delicate little creatures
and powerful.
They dive faster than any bird.

As one stops by my window to say hello,
I wonder at his simple life.
Visiting flowers often to forage nectar,
making a nest with his beloved,
flying fast from place to place.

A marvel of Nature's engineering,
a Creator's design.
Perfectly in balance with his surroundings.
His colors and dance fill me with joy.

Photo by Jason Leung on Unsplash

As a child and even now,
I love to float on my back.
Perfectly still…
Minus the small movements needed to keep myself afloat.
I am a sinker.

From the stillness with ears under water,
I can hear my breath… oh so loud…
and sometimes the clicking of dolphins
or a propeller buzzing.
The blue sky with fluffy clouds.
Held between water and sky,
Blue above and blue beneath.

Totally still. Listening. Floating. At One.
Water divine. Sky divine. Michelle divine.

Photo by Dave on Unsplash

The great outdoors....
What's so great about it?
We are built to be outdoors.
It's our home.
Moving, running, walking in the sunshine.

Our ancestors gathered nuts, seeds, and fruit.
They followed the herds as they moved in seasons.
We are meant to feel the sun on our face..
The grass under our feet. Or snow or mud.

There we can see the "wonders of nature."
The super moon, eclipse, comets, and stars.
When is the last time you saw the Milky Way Galaxy
Consuming the entire sky..?

In these days of sheltering, despite my love of all creatures,
the dearest one I see on my walks is other humans.
Every one of them waves these days...  Total strangers.
It's comforting to know that we are each facing the challenge
Alone.  Together.

Photo by Aaron Thomas on Unsplash

Nicole, my daughter-in-law, has agreed to help me cook.
Over a Zoom call.
We share what we are each making.
She shares the recipe with me
So I can make what she is making.
But usually we each make something different.

The magic comes from creating something together.
In different places.
Feels like community.

I loved cooking with my children when they were little.
Cooking is a social event to me.
A gift of community.

Sharing food is a universal way of showing love, connection, care
In every culture.
All humans. And animals.

It’s been hard for me to cook alone.
I have resorted to unhealthy eating.
I reached out and asked for help.
And look at what I got…
The joy of creating healthy food with a lovely new daughter.

Photo by Milan Seitler on Unsplash

Back when I programmed computers for a living,
I had to argue for the privilege of working from home.
It was a rarity, an unusual request.
Made the bosses uncomfortable not to see me.
How did they know if I was really working?
Even though my productivity jumped on those days,
it was a sore thumb, not a right but privilege.

So now we are all working from home.
We can work from our favorite chair,
coffee in hand, pajamas still on,
Our favorite music in the background.
Looking out on our gorgeous backyard.
Cactus blooming, quail swooping in to feed on the grasses.

Challenges too... kids home, spouse home, all in one house.
And not all at home.... those courageous health, food, delivery workers.
What if our collective productivity jumps in this time?
What if our job satisfaction, for those of us with jobs still, soars?
What if our time together in close quarters yields stronger family bonds?
Time to listen to each other; time to play games.